I think youth today really spoke to me. I've gotta HUMONGOUS fear of death. & i suppose its one of my greatest fears. And with Grandpapa in this situation, it's becoming more ... impacted. And lets also add in the fact that death also means losing someone. I'm really scared of that as well. Maybe its just a fear of insecurity, but only a focal on that point.

Why i have that fear? I guess its probably cause of this dream i continuously had when i was younger, a dream of everyone i loved walking through this door ( with lotsa light in it. Super glaring okay) , and me, i just stood there, waving. Hugging my pokemon bolster, that is. I know la, super cute right. Out of point. So yeah. i'd then wake up crying.

They filmed this video that was so so sad. And i guess its really true. How balloons are nice too watch, but yet they go so quickly. Gid gives, God takes.